Me and Michael in the snow! so cute!

he is here!

ok so i spent the whole day with michael yesterday and it was great! the best time i have had the whole time i have been in the crap hole! he is so great! he said things to me that no man has ever before! wow i dont even know how to tell you what we did with out going to TMI lol anywho im going to hang out with him today when he GETS HIS ASS OUT OF BED lol!

peace!

its over!

well its over! thank god! i got everything i wanted for christmas but my man. he will be here in about 3 days! HEYE! im so happy. but other then that there is not really much to talk about. life is back to the way it was before so thats what im really happy about. i hate it when everyone is so happy to be getting things but you know the one thing that you want more then anything is to have that one person holding you and you know you cant have it.

well anywho.... only about a week till i leave for basic and then i will not be putting anything up here lol..... so if you know me wish me luck and think of me when im gone. and dont forget about michael. he will be going to iraq soon. *tear* he will need all the thoughts he can get at that time. god im going to miss him so much!

well im off peace!

christmas....

I hate this time of year. i always feel so alone. its just family every year. i just want to get this part of the year over with. i feel like its not really my time its my sisters, i mean i have to help her put all the christmas stuff up, and then there is the fact that im leveing in ten days and its not like im going to really be in the christmas spirit.

anywho i dont really have that much to say today.

4 more days till michael comes to see me!

Military Girlfriend Motto

Military Girlfriend Motto

I am a military girlfriend. I hold no formal recognition with the powers that be. I am at the bottom of the chain. I hold no Military ID card, I am not a "dependent" or a parent. The man I love may face unspeakable dangers, and I am at the mercy of those who possess this recognition for news. I understand this and accept this.

I am a military girlfriend. I have promised to be here for him upon his return, no matter how long he is away. People may say I am insane for making such a commitment with no guarantees, but I hold onto our promises and have faith that he will come home safe to me. I know full well that my love for him fuels him in the worst of times.

I am a military girlfriend. I hope every day that he will be able call because a simple 30-second phone call can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions smiling with tears in my eyes from so much joy and pain. My relationship is based on a brief communication where "I love you and I'm okay" speaks more than volumes and gives me the strength to keep going.

I am a military girlfriend. I take no moment spent together for granted. I hold onto every touch, caress, kiss, every word. I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice, and I play it over and over in my mind so that I will not forget. I cry myself to sleep some nights because missing him hurts so badly, but wake up the next morning, brush myself off, and start a new day with even more pride and love than the one before.



well i fould this and just had to put this up! this is to my baby, michael and anyother girl that loves a militart man! it maybe hard but its more then worth it! with michael is in iraq all im going to be able to think about is him. i would do anything to go out there with him just to be with him. and then there is the whole married thing, i wish with all my heart that my divorce had already gone throw.... i mean that way i could truly be with micheal. he just asked me for anything i wanted and all i can think of is that shit to be done with. i cant be fully with him till all thats done. i can be with him body but i cant give him all my soul till my husband is out of the pic. and thats not going to be till after basic and that really sucks because he will then be going to iraq. if only there was a way to get it done with now.

things on my mind

ok well tommy got in today. he is so big! he is not the little boy that i used to know. but he is still just as sweet. when he saw me he didnt know it was his aunt lisa hehe. but he gave me a really big hug and thats really what i needed at the time. but there is a story so here i go......
ok so lastnight me and michael were talking about when he leaves and today when i was at the air port there were guys that were going to iraq. they were leaveing when i was there. and dont get me wrong they were hot as hell, but all i could think about was michael. i didnt even look back at the guys when they were looking at me and thats a first for me beacuse im one girl that loves to eyefuck someone, but i just really really didnt want to. it was so hard to see them leave beacuse i was not seeing them i was seeing michael and it hurt. i about cried. i want to be there when he leave and when he gets back. for the first time in my life i just want to be there for someone other then me. i mean i would give the world to be with him. i dont want him to leave! im going to cry forever when he leaves. i just dont know what im going to do, i mean im going to be in ait so i cant just go and see him off. i dono how thats going to work but i really really REALLY want to be there for when he leaves. i mean i know im going to be able to make if when he is coming back. so i WILL be there for him and standing there just waiting to give him the best hug and kiss of his life! im going to be that one girl that he is so happy to see and i know it! that gives me the best feeling in the world. all warm and fuzzy! THE BEST. but then i remember for him to come home he has to leave and i dont want that! i just wish i knew how things would end up.
I LOVE YOU!

so happy.....

Tommy is coming tomorrow, its going to be great! its been so long since he was little and now he is as grown up. its going to be so fun!

well about michael.... he read what i had to say. he didnt know i was worried about him, but how do you tell someone that you want them to never leave you, never go anywere without you, love them forever with out freaking them out? i mean i would do anything for him. i would die for him. is there a way for someone to be SO in love with out even dating someone for long?
ok so i have said "i love you" before but i have never really felt it. now i do. im so worried that im not the right person for him. what if he finds someone better? i dont ever want to lose him. OR what if the worst should happen? what if he never comes home to me? i dont think i could could live with out him right now. i mean he is the one that got me throw cassie and her shit. he is the one that makes me smile. if he ever left me or never came back to me, i wouldnt be able to smile.
that reminds me, he is always telling me to smile but the only time i really smile is when i hear his voice. i mean today i was singing to him on the phone because he was going to sleep and i didnt want him too. and trust me, i cant sing if my life was in danger so it was kinda funny. but he told me not to stop so i was just going on and on hehe. he really loves me and i cant believe why. i mean im not the best girlfriend. im always talking to my guy friend (i dont have any girlfriends but the ones back in houston) and all my other boyfriend worried that i would cheat (and i did) but with michael i dont even want to talk to the guys. i just want to be with him.

ok so on an other subject.... there is this chick that i used to talk to in hawaii, terrie, and she is married and cheats on her husband thats in iraq and i feel really bad for him... i mean he is out there everyday putting his life on the line. i mean i know i have cheated, but never on a husband. its different when your dating, but if you marry that person you should never do that! but anyways she started talking to me today. well she saw a pic of michael and said he was really cute and all i could think was "he is mine BITCH!" that just pisses me off! she is FUCKING married for god sake! but i guess that just means i picked good lol

michael

<------Michael

well i have only told you that michael made me set this up..... but i didnt tell you that im falling for michael more then i ever have before! i know he is reading this so i cant really say much, i mean i got a reputation and all hehe. but i would give anything for him to be here right now sitting next to him. i talk to him on the phone and i dont even want to say anything because i just want to hear his voice. wow that sounds really gay but its true.
just now i was watching music videos and all i could see in them were the love part of them, not the brakeup. i want this feeling i have for him to never go away. could this be it? damn i dono. i mean we have only been together for a week or so but i really really dont want anthing to happen to him. even thou i have not told him that im worried about when he goes to iraq i really am, but he really wants to go so its not like i can do anything about it. i keep telling him to be strong and it will be ok but its so hard for me to believe that myself and im the one saying it. no matter how he comes back i will always be there for him! he is everything to me!

the family

well chris's mom and dad are here. they are really cool. his mom talks like nonstop! i dont see how that works because chris never talks unless he has a beer in his hand so thats kinda different. even his dad talks! but anywho, there are still cool...... and she talks like a babe to the dogs and i have never talked that! why do people do that shit? there dogs they dont get what you say wether its babe talk or not!
lets see.... i still have tommy (chris's son) coming in on the 20th and i have not seen him since he was six. so thats going to be fun. i hope he runs me all over the place beacuse i only have 15 days to get ready for basic. so if he is as outdoorsy as his dad is then i will be ready lol. other then that..... nothing i really have to do to be ready.
so im guessing that i might not be as bored as i have been now that tommy is coming into town! thats going to be great. i will have someone to talk to when my sister and chris are at work. i mean dont get me wrong its great to talk to people on here, but its just not the same!
well its time for me to sum this up and get back to the family..... ~peace~

today

well today i didnt do anything at all. i got drunk lastnight and only got 5 hrs of sleep so i just sat there and did nothing all day! other then that i have really dont done anything at all.
life here sucks. there is never anything to do. and tomorrow my brother in laws mother is coming and so thats going to be different b/c i have never met her before and i dont really know how to deal with her when my brother and sister are at work. i mean if i could think of something to talk about that she would be cool with would be better but i dono what she will want to talk about. she dosent know me and i know my brother dosent talk about me to her. so thats going to be hard.
then on the 20th my brothers son is coming and i have not seen him in like 4 years. he is 9 now and as tall as me so thats going to be a funny photo! i will have to put that up here. yeah so i think that will be fun.
well thats about all i have to say tonight, till tomorrow. ~peace~

this new thing!

so this is all new to me. someone (michael) told me i needed to do this so here i am. dont really know what the hell someone would want to read about my life for. its boring. nothing really fun happens to me.
im joining the army on jan 3rd. kinda happy about that, gives me something to do. but the only thing that sucks is that thats the day before my 21st b-day.
well lets see.... till then im living with my sister, lily, in shithole new mexico and there is nothing to do here. the town is so small that there is nothing in it. i hate it here. i want to go back to hawaii more then anyone will ever know!
ok other then that...... lets see...... nothing really over the top has happen to me in a long time. so i guess there is not much more i can say here..... well till i post something worth reading, have fun!